52 Ways to Joy - Building Bridges

Do not forget small kindnesses and do not remember small faults.
Chinese Proverb

I'm not going to lie...building a bridge is sometimes the hardest thing to do.

In all truth, I've burnt a few bridges, dug a few holes and walked away from people and relationships that simply required more than I thought I could give.

But before we take the drastic steps of closing doors and burning down bridges, I've learned to take a step back and sleep on it. (Sometimes a particular bridge might require years of sleeping on it...but hey, no one said the process is perfect!)

As I look around my world, there are many people populating my village that I like for many reasons, there are some I tolerate for a few stand-out reasons and there are some I prefer not to cross paths with - but keeping the bridge open needs to stay an option for as long as possible.

There is a simple joy that is felt deep in the soul when you extend that olive branch.

We all struggle with something in our lives that might cause an over-reaction, something that might cause an outburst of epic proportions or keep us deeply private. Our world and these times are not easy and we are not all cut from the same cloth - but as people there are common threads that we can twist and knit into a single cord of tolerance...even if it's just about the weather or sharing the love of a book we just read.

Because bridges over small creeks can sometimes span rivers and isn't that better than the alternative?

This week before you burn down the bridge...I ask you to step off for a few minutes, hours, days, or however long you might need, to see the other side from a difference perspective. You might find you can put the matches away (you might find a blowtorch is just what you need...but if you've reached that point, maybe it's time to just be done!)

As always, I wish you joy on whatever road you travel this week!

 

*Do you get Scribbling Through Time in your favorite reader? Please note I recently changed my feed from feedburner to feedblitz and I don't want leave you behind when I finally cut the cord and terminate the feedburner account! Take a second to click HERE and keep me coming to your favorite reader!*
 
  ** Because I love my readers and am grateful you choose to spend some time with me each week, all comments from April 1 to April 30th are automatically entered into my monthly drawing for a 3 pack of mini travel-sized handmade soaps. Details and the scents for the month can be found on the "contest rules" page.

 ***52 Ways to Joy is a weekly post to celebrate the simple ways to bring joy into your life and those around you. It's about the small moments that makes memories and give us all a sense of contentment in the crazy world we live in. If you're joining me here for the first time, by clicking on the label  "52WTJ" you can read the previous posts!

Sunday in the Kitchen - Chilled Red Beans and Rice

Now that the weather is finally getting warmer, it means we'll be outside more. Barbecues and warm summer nights. I'm always on the lookout for a new salad idea to serve on the buffet with burgers or chicken on the grill.

Here's a new one I found this week looking through a cookbook of quick and healthy meals. Hope you enjoy it!

Chilled Red Beans and Rice 

1/4 cup Italian dressing 

3 Tbs water 

2 Tbs white vinegar

1/2 tsp dried oregano

1/4 tsp ground red pepper 

1/4 tsp dried thyme

1/8 tsp ground pepper

1 (15 oz.) can red kidney beans, drained

1 cup cooked long-grain rice (cooked without salt), chilled 

1 cup sliced celery

3/4 cup chopped onion

3/4 chopped tomato

Combine the first 7 ingredients, mix well and chill. (Preferably in a jar sealed tight, shaken vigorously!)

Combine dressing mixture, kidney beans and next 4 ingredients in a bowl; toss well.

 Cover and chill.

Enjoy!

***

Exciting news!  Beginning May 1st there's a new group blog in town! Heart-Shaped Glasses is where 12 authors will be chatting about writing and reality through the eyes of romance writers. I'm even offering the first month's Blog Swag Giveaway! Watch for more details and the link in the coming days...

Five ways to free the muse

My Purple Priestess of Words

"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club." 

 ~ Jack London

That Jack London...he knew a little about writing.

He also knew that if we sit around waiting for the muse to show up for work, we'd never get our books done.

While not every writer has a muse, almost every writer I know has a routine that sets them on their own writing road. Here are just a few of the ways to get some words on the page and feel a little less stressed in the process.

1. Put the muse on the clock. Try putting yourself on a schedule. Sit down with your pad or at your computer with your ms open at the same time everyday. Whether your writing fairy is in the mood or not...your brain knows it's time to work and you might get more words than you think.

2. Give her a deadline. Oh, that ticking bomb we love to use to up the suspense in our novels...works on your muse too! Turn over the hourglass, set the kitchen timer or the alarm on your phone for a short amount of time and GO! Don't edit. Don't stress...just write.

3. Bribe the bitch. Want 100 words before coffee? 200 words before you get the kids on the bus? 300 words while the water boils for the pasta your making for dinner? A small reward can be just the ticket. Whether it's allowing yourself 15 minutes on your favorite game, time to surf the web or for a few of your favorite Jelly Belly's...sometimes we need the bribe and it's not wrong!

4. Set the mood. I personally can't write to music with lyrics - but I know plenty of authors who produce a complete soundtrack to their WIP. If this works for you and loosens up the tight lips of your muse...go for it.

5. Let her sleep in while you free write. This is a technique that works for a lot of people. Some people call it "morning pages" others call it just "free writing." It doesn't matter what you call it, it matters that you do it. You simply sit down and write. Not on your WIP, but whatever starts to flow...let your mind wander through the cobwebs of your imagination. No editing allowed, indulge yourself! Just a page or two, whatever you need to warm up the fingers and get the brain firing on all cylinders.

And when the muse figures out you don't need her at all...she might show up with something to prove! Now, go get those words on the page!

What is your favorite way to coax the words onto the page everyday?

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52 Ways to Joy - To Be Grateful

The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies;
but let the thankful heart
sweep through the day and,
as the magnet finds the iron,
so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!
~ Henry Ward Beecher

The news has been filled with tragedy this past week from the Boston bombing to the Texas explosions. It's impossible to escape the events that rock our peaceful lives.

Yet, we must go on. We must continue to live, work and push forward.

But even through the sadness we have to look around and be grateful for what we do have, for the people in our lives right now that bring us happiness.

Sometimes it's hard when we struggle from day to day with bills, unemployment, stress, or illness. Times are hard and our perceptions are often hard to change.

But, once you start to see the silver lining in your everyday life, it's hard to stop craving that snippet of joy that can brighten a moment.

So, you're not having lobster and filet mignon for dinner tonight...if there's food on your table, be grateful.

Your last ten dollars went into your gas tank to get you to work today? Be grateful you're not standing in the rain at a bus stop heading to the unemployment line.

Your hair not cooperating today and you look in the mirror disgusted? Be grateful for that head of hair, how many cancer patients are picking out a hat or a scarf to cover their bald heads?

Before you complain today, I challenge you to try to turn that complaint into something to be grateful for - because your outlook on what you do have can bring you joy!

I wish you joy and an abundance of things to be grateful for wherever your travels take you this week!

*Do you get Scribbling Through Time in your favorite reader? Please note I recently changed my feed from feedburner to feedblitz and I don't want leave you behind when I finally cut the cord and terminate the feedburner account! Take a second to click HERE and keep me coming to your favorite reader!*

  ** Because I love my readers and am grateful you choose to spend some time with me each week, all comments from April 1 to April 30th are automatically entered into my monthly drawing for a 3 pack of mini travel-sized handmade soaps. Details and the scents for the month can be found on the "contest rules" page.

 *52 Ways to Joy is a weekly post to celebrate the simple ways to bring joy into your life and those around you. It's about the small moments that makes memories and give us all a sense of contentment in the crazy world we live in. If you're joining me here for the first time, by clicking on the label  "52WTJ" you can read the previous posts!

Sunday in the Kitchen - Pioneer Skillet Bread

Not cast iron...but works for me.

In my current work in progress, Surrender to the Sheriff, my heroine has traveled from the present to a California Gold Rush town in 1851 and the cast iron skillet has become her favorite tool - but not in the kitchen! Lilly actually uses the cast iron pan as a weapon.

And while the cast iron pan could do some nice damage to a man's leg or shoulder...most woman on the frontier used their pans to make the staples on the trail and keep their families fed.

The cast iron pan could be used over an open fire on the trail or in an oven once they had a kitchen in their new home.

The pan would be filled with dough and moved about the fire, angled in such a way that the bread would eventually rise and cook. Though cooking was difficult along the Oregon Trail,  baking skillet bread was often the only food they could count on as conditions were usually harsh.

Today you and I can grab these items from the pantry and pop them in the oven without barely a thought about the travelers heading west over rugged terrain.

Hope you enjoy this time-tested biscuit!

SKILLET BREAD

3 1/4 cups flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking powder
2 Tbsp butter (or shortening)
1 1/4 cups buttermilk or sour milk
Shortening for greasing the pan

Mix all the dry ingredients together and then cut in the butter or shortening (on the trail this would have been done with a fork, you can go ahead and use a pastry blender if you'd like!) Cut in the shortening until it's grainy. Stir in the milk. Knead the dough a few times, then push into the greased pan. Bake in a 400 degree oven about 35 minutes or until the bread is  lightly browned and light in weight.

Enjoy!

*Do you get Scribbling Through Time in your favorite reader? Please note I recently changed my feed from feedburner to feedblitz and I don't want leave you behind when I finally cut the cord and terminate the feedburner account! Take a second to click HERE and keep me coming to your favorite reader!*

  ** Because I love my readers and am grateful you choose to spend some time with me each week, all comments from April 1 to April 30th are automatically entered into my monthly drawing for a 3 pack of mini travel-sized handmade soaps. Details and the scents for the month can be found on the "contest rules" page.

52 Ways to Joy - The Everyday Hero

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of “disaster,” I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers — so many caring people in this world.”

- Quote by Mr. Fred Rogers

Fred Rogers, a wise man. (And his mother!)

Today our country once again mourns victims of a senseless act of violence.

As I sat down to write this weekly post celebrating the small joys in our lives, it was with deep sadness. At first I considered letting the blog stay dark today in honor of the victims.

But we are not a society built on fear. We are strong and will never be kept down by the cowardly deeds of those who seek to do us harm.

We are a nation of people that rise against violence to reach out to those in need. The first responders, the bystanders, the runners - all became the everyday hero by helping those in crisis.

Today as I search for joy in a life that can seem uncertain and confusing in days like these, I pray for peace and for everyone to reach down and find your inner hero. Whether it's to give blood for those in need or simply to calm the fears of a child...say the extra kind word, do the extra kind deed.

At the end of the day, it's our hearts and good souls that bind us together. We will never be defined by the violence of a few. Click to Tweet.

Today's blog is dedicated to Boston, to the marathon runners, the bystanders and the first responders. I offer up my prayers for the souls lost and well-wishes for those injured. (And of course, I offer up a pox on the scum responsible, may they rot in camel dung for eternity.)

 *52 Ways to Joy is a weekly post to celebrate the simple ways to bring joy into your life and those around you. It's about the small moments that makes memories and give us all a sense of contentment in the crazy world we live in. If you're joining me here for the first time, by clicking on the label  "52WTJ" you can read the previous posts!

** Because I love my readers and am grateful you choose to spend some time with me each week, all comments from April 1 to April 30th are automatically entered into my monthly drawing for a 3 pack of mini travel-sized handmade soaps. Details and the scents for the month can be found on the "contest rules" page.

Sunday in the Kitchen - Banana Pecan Bread

Today I'm back in the kitchen...did you miss me?

I'm struggling with a cold, a cough and a sinus infection - so I decided I needed something warm from the oven this morning for breakfast.

It was so great with melted butter and a steaming cup of coffee!

So, now I'm sharing it with you.

Enjoy your Sunday my friends!

EASY Banana Pecan Bread

2 large ripe bananas (smashed...more if you like!)

1/3 cup melted butter

3/4 cup sugar

1 egg (beaten)

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1 tsp baking powder

Pinch of salt

 1 1/2 cup of all-purpose flour

1/3 cup pecans (chopped)

No mixer required! Preheat oven to 350. In a large mixing bowl, smash the bananas with the melted butter. Add in sugar, egg, vanilla and cinnamon. Sprinkle baking powder and salt over mixture and mix in. Add the pecans. Add the flour in last.

Pour into a greased or buttered standard loaf pan. Bake for 1 hour. Cool on a rack. Remove from pan and slice to serve.

52 Ways to Joy - Take Notice

Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.
- Unknown

What are you missing right outside your front door that could bring you a moment of joy today?

Spring has been showing signs of emerging here on Long Island. Slowly Mother Nature is slipping in signs of life, but sometimes we really have to look to find them.

The trees are beginning to bud, the crocus plants are peeking out from under the dirt, the local garden centers are colorful beacons as we drive past them on the way to work or on errands.

 Step outside and smell the flowers! Take a deep breath of fresh air to clear away the cobwebs in your mind.

With only 24 hours in a day and a million and one things on our agendas every day, it's so hard to miss the little things blooming right under our noses. It's hard to miss the smile of accomplishment of your toddler who's just zipped his jacket by himself for the first time when you're late for that appointment.

It's hard to notice your teenager didn't need to be reminded to take out the garbage when you're making dinner, helping with homework, doing laundry and trying desperately to finish the chapter of your novel.

But we should. Actually, we MUST.

Because joy is in the small moments, the smallest details...it's not always in the biggest achievements.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to spend a few minutes walking around a small neighborhood garden center and came home with this pansy pot for next to my front door. The perfect spot to be noticed when I walk out in the morning and again when I walk back in on my home from my day at work. It's going to be hard not to smile when I walk by.

Today, your mission is to notice something small around you. Something you might miss if you weren't looking for it.

I wish you joy on whatever path your travel this week!

 *52 Ways to Joy is a weekly post to celebrate the simple ways to bring joy into your life and those around you. It's about the small moments that makes memories and give us all a sense of contentment in the crazy world we live in. If you're joining me here for the first time, by clicking on the label  "52WTJ" you can read the previous posts!

** Because I love my readers and am grateful you choose to spend some time with me each week, all comments from April 1 to April 30th are automatically entered into my monthly drawing for a 3 pack of mini travel-sized handmade soaps. Details and the scents for the month can be found on the "contest rules" page.

Sunday Snippet from Surrender to the Sheriff

Taking a break from the usual recipe posts this week to share a little more of my current time travel romance, Surrender to the Sheriff.

Hope you enjoy it. This little snippet comes from early in Chapter Two.

Her slight form twisted in his arms in a half-hearted attempt to get him to release her. She might smell like a spring bouquet, but she was no wilting flower when it came to letting him know her mind. And he knew where her mind was at the moment—at that damn saloon.

"If I put you down, will you walk with me?"

Lilly’s hazel eyes met his, the gold flecks in the center catching the sunlight, her lips pursed into a rosebud.

"Of course I will," she said, and he knew she was lying.

"On second thought, I like you here in my arms." He held her close to his chest as he stepped from the street and onto the planked walkway, his boots heavy on the wood. With Doc’s office only a few buildings away, he had no intention of letting her go that easily. "It’s the only time I think you really listen to me."

Have a great week my friends!

Author Website Elements - Your Photo

Photo by Studio 16

Congratulations to my March blog contest winner - Bethanne!

Contact me here with your address.

A few years ago when I registered for the RWA conference, a friend convinced me I needed a professional photo for my website. She had to drag me kicking and screaming and had to make the appointment for me because I procrastinated hoping their schedule would fill up.

She was right and it was even a fun experience.

Since I had the photo taken it's been on my website, on my blog, twitter, facebook and writing forums...etc.

I hate getting my picture taken and the thought of posting it online gave me nightmares and sent me straight to the bar for a martini! But, it was the right decision to make.

Why?

Because having your picture gives your name life, a personality all it's own, and adds a little bit of a human touch to your social presence. It's part of your branding. How many of us will not follow the "egg" on Twitter? I know I won't. If you don't have an avatar - even if it's your book cover or a picture of your cat...I won't follow you.

Isn't it easier to feel you're connecting with a blogger, a writer, or anyone on a social media site, if you have a face to look at? Don't we all have that nosy side that wants to know a little more about the person behind the words on the page?

Photo by Brandon

Since that first photo shoot, I've grown my hair out and yes, I've aged...but I decided a few weeks ago that I needed an update to the author photo. Maybe it's just that I have a tendency to get bored with the same old things staring back at me day in and day out (which is why the family has taken bets on how long I'll keep my current website design...but that's another story!)

The new photo is more casual and reflects my style as both an author and personally, and that's exactly the feeling I want to convey when people visit my website. I'm all about the warm, fuzzy and friendly.

I think an author photo is an important part of any author's social presence, but I think it's equally important to get the right feel. I think my new photo (taken by my son!) has a more laid-back feel than the first.

Do you agree an author photo is a must for your social presence?

52 Ways to Joy - Count to ten

"The seas are quiet when the winds give o'er. So calm are we when passions are no more!" 

~Edmund Waller

 


If I must be honest, and since this is my blog, I guess this is THE place for me to be honest...I've been known to have a short fuse.

I've been known to make snap decisions based purely on my emotions, I've started and finished arguments I've felt passionate about without thought to the other side of the coin.

And now I'm getting mellow. I jokingly call these my "sappy" moments.

I've noticed how much better I feel inside when I step back and count to ten, giving myself a chance to take a few deep breathes and clear my head before I say things I might regret later. I like to think of this as maturing and maybe it is. Mostly I think it's more a choice to be more patient and more tolerant of the things in my life that I can't change and need to learn to live with.

Some people call it turning the other cheek, my hubby calls it cooling your jets...but it all means the same thing - step back, count to ten and decide if the moment calls for blowing your top (and most of the time, it doesn't!)

Counting to ten doesn't take a huge chunk of your day, it isn't inconvenient or something you have to do alone, in your room with the lights out - that's the best part. You can do it anywhere and give yourself that instant sensation of peace and joy.

Will there be those moments that counting to a hundred won't even help calm the nerves or help me find a reason to keep my mouth shut? You bet! But since life is about balance - we've got to take the joy when we can create it and just learn to accept the other moments as they come.

Close your eyes and count, tap your foot or use your fingers...it doesn't matter how you do it, just give it a try.

I've also started counting to ten before I respond to an email that has gotten under my skin...once you hit that send button, there is no way to take it back and I've sent my share of emails I wished I hadn't.

My great-niece is 2 1/2 and her favorite phrase right now is, "walk away." Sometimes I think it's amazing how we can learn from the young and innocent. They aren't jaded yet, they have no hidden agendas and yet they can disarm you with a smile and a simple comment.

Walk away and count to ten. Find joy in keeping your temper in check and being the bigger person for that moment in time.

May joy find you and fill your life this week wherever your travels lead you.